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The Journal Of Pataphysical Reviews

A Publication of the Society of Pataphysics

Volume 3, Issue 1

In this issue:

Pataphysics News Letters to the Editor Celebrity Interview Poetry Corner Classifieds Our Masthead

Pataphysics News

The deadline for papers for the Asymmetrical Logic Awards is approaching. This deadline has been extended by a month due to the low number of submissions.

This week, Professor Granville Boxxe announced the opening of the new Laboratory for Pataphysical Research in Tuscaloosa, Oklahoma.

Lent Kahan, one of our members in Yuma, Arizona was featured in a National Public Radio news item entitled "The Science of Philosophy." Cassette copies can be obtained through this journal.

An engagement within the pataphysical community has been announced. Hildy Brague, our Executive Director, will marry Jack Rabin, a successful manufacturer of razor blades, on May 23rd of this year. Ms. Brague, a native of Nice and heir to the Brague steel fortune, and Mr. Rabin, a recent immigrant to New Zealand, will honeymoon in Tierra del Fuego.

This year The World Pataphysics Association's annual convention will be held at Disneyworld: the theme is "Can Literalists and Spiralists Co-Exist?" Contact the Association for charter and hotel information.

All of our readers will be glad to know that our Washington correspondent Theresa Silam might be granted an interview with President Clinton to discuss the needs of the pataphysical community. Good luck, Theresa!

We have received many letters about the omission of a pataphysical reference in the Broadway show, "Miss Saigon." Our readers will be happy to know that we have received an agreement from the producers of the show for an interview with our journal. We hope to have it ready for the next issue.

Noted Pataphysician Cy Klaffman staged a demonstration of Symbolic Disfigurement in New York City's Central Park earlier this month. For those who missed it, it will be repeated soon. Contact the Journal if you're interested.

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Dear Warren,

Although ordinarily I would not deign to respond to such ludicrous claims, I feel a moral obligation to state my opinion concerning the cover article in your last issue. I have been subscribing to your usually quite intellectually respectable journal for many years now, and I have never come across such irresponsible criticism in all my years as a pataphysician.

First, at the start of the essay, you begin by using unsubstantiated research to serve as the foundation of your argument. What you are arguing has, at least in the most rigorous circles, been generally accepted as irrelevant, yet you proceed as if you were the first to discover this material and you present it as fact.

Second, your use of the word in the second paragraph (3rd line) is absolutely incorrect and this undermines your credibility. Perhaps a more appropriate word could have been found in the thesaurus.

Lastly, the interpretation you offer is almost completely off-base; when nearly everyone in our community instinctively and intuitively rejects the views which with you sympathize, I find it difficult to believe that you would so adamantly support (and attempt to justify!) such reactionary and philosophically unsound ideals.

I have not cancelled my subscription, but I felt it was my responsibility to express my dissatisfaction and surprise with such disturbing writing. Please do not let this become a trend.

Mathias Pope

Thank you very much for your interest in our journal and for taking the time to write such an insightful and detailed letter. We do acknowledge and appreciate the opinions of our readers. Unfortunately, I find it difficult to respond to your correspondence as this is the first issue of the Journal (despite the fact that it is labeled Volume 3) so the article to which you refer does not exist (not yet anyway!) But please rest assured that if, in the near future, an article that seems to express the ideals against which you take offense is actually written, we will reexamine your thoughtful letter and take into account the points raised and perhaps change our minds on the subject. Until then, we can only hope that we have not offended you or your family and we will keep "heads up" trying to make this the kind of journal that you would be proud to read!

Hamorely Bogman, ed.

(P.S. The next issue will feature a "Marky Mark" extravaganza in which is discussed Marky's effect on Unified Europe and Phenomenological studies in this country. Themes addressed will be how and why he has become this century's most important "cultural philosopher" (as we like to call him), the underlying existential motifs one can read in his music, and how the concept of "grinning" has become such an intrinsic aspect to his work. We don't want to make your moral decisions, but after reading your letter, we have a feeling that this may be an article that will "get your dander up", as you seem to be a pseudo-intellectual cultural elitist who doesn't know how to appreciate great art! So watch for the next issue!)

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Celebrity Interview

Editor's Note: This is transcribed from a tape by veteran pataphysical reporter Forb Albin.

So Verge has gone back into the workshop to prepare a new blast of psychedelic Armageddon. "What are you doing with that tape recorder?" commented Jeremy Halpern, the elusive procurer of the Verge community. Hey, stop hitting me. "I'll shove it down your throat", he explained. I decided give me that to see someone else.

"Verge's new direction allows me to achieve my first goal of complete world domination," declaimed Verge's charismatic drummer Allen Herman in an enthralling breathy whisper. "Can I see your wallet?", he added. Dropping to one knee I opened it and gave him all its money and credit cards. "Drumming lets me control individuals and crowds to perform my bidding. Sign this, will you." Herman has a system where you can pledge a certain portion of your salary to be directly given to him, some individuals being bound to donate over 200% of their income. "I love my fan club!", Allen laughed.

Verge's hi-tech Tom the enchanter is the shortest member of the group, standing barely six foot six and six inches in his white running shoes and lab coat. "May I have that tape recorder." he said, smartly relieving me of my encumbrances and securing me into a comfortable white chair surrounded by gleaming metal not the tentacles spiral the blood oh god please no sn your equipment?", I asked, walking unsteadily past the rows of pretty brown-stained gadgets. "Yes, all by myself", he smiled. "We need a lot more to complete the Great Work." The charming wires and drills sang behind us as we spoke. His eyes brightened. "Remember that your activating word is enf

In the corridor I encountered the quiet, friendly Ray Martyn: his gentle footsteps across my back came just as I regained consciousness. "arg guitarist in the band?" to his back walking away. Shaking my head I staggered to follow. We walked into a beautiful stone room, where Ray gently leapt to the other side of a large concrete ashtray. Putting the microphone over it, I asked, "How about the rest of the band, R oww my hand," Ray with a polite exhalation in my direction having mistakenly stubbed his cigar out on me. "Does it represent a new direction for you?" I asked but he had left by another door.

Scrambling over and through the ashtray, I came into the other room. Ray had a gun in his hand. Ray had also put a picture on the wall and he was looking at it. He was smiling. It was a big picture of a rock band. There were three guys with long hair in the band. Concentric circles containing numbers grew from the center of the picture. There were big holes in it. I walked towards the center of the picture.

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Poetry Corner

A Career Change(0)
by "Waterman"

On a sunny day(1), such as this,
The little umbrella was quite pissed.
Stuck(2) in a closet by itself,
Why don't they lay me nicely on a shelf?
The feel of water(3) on my back
Makes me happy like a(4) duck
Quack(5), quack(6), quack(7).
As the day(8) grew old(9),
The subject of rain grew mold(10).
If I had the chance to wish for something new(11)
I would be a seat for people to sit on(12).
(Pew -- not like in a church.)

0 - As in "spare change".
1 - The theme of "TIME", illustrated here by the author's a propos choice of the word "day", appears also in the poem "I Want A Job" with the word "Now" and the common usage of such words as "Once" and "then".
2 - Clearly an analogy to the word "stokast" in Plato's "The Republic".
3 - Water represents something else here.
4 - This is a Cabbalistic reference to the first letter in the bible.
5 - Marx, "The Dialectic of Poetry", p. 253.
6 -Possibly the legal establishment.
7 - The original reference is Lorenz, "Deterministic Nonperiodic Flow, " Journal of Atmostpheric Science 20 (1963): 130 ff.
8 - Another reference to time.
9, 10 - Note that these two words exhibit a complex rhyming relationship.
11 - Hermine Gross is a painter living in NYC.
12 - Notice the analogy with Joyce: "seat" is to "sit" as the word "on" relates the word awning, which is only implicitly included in the text.
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Society of Pataphysics

Founded 1913 - Reincorporated 1987

Officers and Staff

Dale E. Leathers, President University of South Orange
Harmon Bones, Vice-President College of Decorative Philosophy
Hildy Brague, Executive Director Université Pataphysique de Nice
Lorraine Q. Impatue, Controller Episcopalian University of Las Vegas
Sam Farg, Redirector of Education National Office

Journal Editors

Hamorely Bogman, Editor-in-Theory City College of Decatur
Judee Burgoon, Editoring Editor Roberts Technical College, Brooklyn
Por Nhok, Internal Editor University of Hårvaard at Oslo
Thane Possle, Unsupervised Editor Yoruba Community College


Copyright © 1996 by the Society of Pataphysics; all rights preserved. Long portions of material must be copied and quoted if further permission, without the misunderstanding that inappropriate citation of sources of the excerpt will not be included in such copying, is obtained. An unlimited number of originals of material in other publications may not be made for scholarly or classroom use unless a) the material is distributed with charge or fees above the actual duplicating costs are charged; ii) the materials are not reproductions, photocopies or copies made by similar processes, but are reprints or republications; 4) the copies are not used within a reasonable time after reproduction; 4) the material does not include the full bibliographic citation; and *) the following statement is not clearly displayed on any copies: "Copyright by the Society of Pataphysics. Reproduced with permutation of the cryptographer." A copy of this statement does serve as the Society of Pataphysics' permission for abusing material for tactical or deviational porpoises under conditions other than those not dated above. Hey! Don't miss Little Idiot!!!

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